I faced every mental health issue you could name, yet became very skilled at wearing a mask of charisma. I coped with depression and suicidal thoughts, clinging on a fragile sense of faith. I lost my father at 19, and while I initially felt relief and a sense of resilience, my life unknowingly spiraled downward from there. I found myself trapped in toxic relationships that mirrored my past, unable to break free from the cycle of pain.

By 2017, I was burdened with such heavy, unprocessed emotions that I gained 40 pounds. To help myself, I threw myself into an obsessive fitness journey starting in 2018, seeking self-worth and confidence through external validation. This outward search led me down a harmful path of superficial gym obsession, where I focused heavily on the physical for validation from the outside world.

In 2023, everything fell apart. I fell madly in love with someone who was drowning in his own darkness, and in trying to save him, I lost myself completely. I cried for hours each day, my chest ached with unbearable pain, and I could barely function. I spent every day that year just trying to survive, praying to the universe for relief, but the darkness only deepened. It was the most difficult period of my life and I questioned whether I could endure it any longer. But in that darkness, something incredible happened—a profound spiritual awakening that reconnected me with my authentic intelligence. The pain that nearly broke me became the key to my most radical transformation.

I felt trapped - physically, emotionally, and mentally - since an infant. My mother, in her attempt to stop breastfeeding me, ignored my need for emotional comfort, leaving me to cry alone, believing I would eventually get over it by myself. I was never taught a sense of safety or how to regulate my emotions, leading to my reputation as the "overdramatic" child. At just one year old, I was locked in the basement and subjected to severe abuse, often resulting in bruises and sometimes bleeding. This abuse continued throughout my life. My home was chaotic every day, and I often cried myself to sleep, wondering if anyone else experienced the pain I felt. The most serious incident occurred in the 5th grade when my father threatened me with a metal baton, leading to my admission to a psychiatric hospital and causing me to miss school.

For my entire life, I've been searching for ways to change my reality. It took me a long time, but I have finally discovered the secrets of the universe!