The trauma I endured reached its peak when, in the 5th grade, my father, overwhelmed by his own demons, threatened my life with a metal baton. This incident was so severe that it led to my admission to a psychiatric hospital, where I missed school and felt more lost than ever before. Despite facing every mental health issue you could name, I became highly skilled at hiding behind a mask of charisma, projecting an image of strength and resilience that belied the turmoil within.
As a teenager, I clung to my own faith as a lifeline, a way to cope with the depression and suicidal thoughts that haunted me. When I lost my father at 19, I initially felt a sense of relief, believing that I had overcome the worst. But the truth was, my life was spiraling downward in ways I couldn’t yet see. I continued to attract relationships and friendships that mirrored the traumatic environment of my upbringing, unable to break free from the endless cycle of pain and disappointment.
but I’ve finally uncovered the secrets of the universe, and today, I’m sharing them with you.
From the moment I was born, my life was a battlefield. My earliest memories are filled with fear, chaos, and a sense of being trapped—physically, emotionally, and mentally. As an infant, my cries for comfort went unanswered. My mother, in her attempt to stop breastfeeding me, left me to cry alone, believing I would eventually get over it by myself. This harsh introduction to the world left me without a sense of safety or the ability to regulate my emotions. By just one year old, I was already acquainted with severe abuse, locked in the basement and subjected to violence that left bruises on my body and scars on my soul. My childhood home was chaotic, a place where fear and pain were constant companions. Every night, I cried myself to sleep, wondering if anyone else in the world felt the same intense pain that I did.
It took me a lifetime of searching,
For as long as I can remember, I've been on a quest to change my reality, to escape the confines of the pain and fear that shaped my early years.
I gained 40 pounds, and in a desperate attempt to regain control, I threw myself into a fitness journey. I sought self-worth and confidence through external validation, believing that if I could transform my body, I could transform my life. But this outward search led me down a destructive path of superficial gym obsession, where I focused solely on the physical, hoping that others' admiration would fill the void inside me.
In 2023, I descended into one of the darkest periods of my life, a time that nearly broke me. I was madly in love with someone who was drowning in his own darkness, and in my desperation to save him, I lost myself completely. I abandoned my own needs and desires, clinging to the dreamy fantasy of his potential after he healed. But the reality was far more brutal. The darkness he brought into my life consumed me, leaving me feeling like a hollow shell, barely existing from one day to the next.
Each day was an agonizing struggle just to get by. My chest ached with such intensity that it felt like I was being crushed under the weight of my own emotions, and the pain in my body grew sharper, making it nearly impossible to function. I cried for hours, sometimes for five or more, feeling like death itself was creeping into every part of my being.
At work, I was a husk of my former self, going through the motions without any sense of purpose or presence. It was as if I didn’t even exist, just trying to survive each moment until I could retreat to my bed and sulk in despair.
I prayed constantly to the universe, begging for the pain to end, wondering when—or if—things would ever get better. There were moments when I wanted to die, when the darkness felt so overwhelming that it seemed like the only escape. But deep down, I knew that dying wasn’t the solution, even though the thought haunted me.
In 2018, the weight of my unprocessed emotions became unbearable.
It was in this abyss that I finally realized the darkness he had brought into my life was not just his but also mine.
It was a mirror, forcing me to confront the deep-seated demons I had long buried.
This harrowing experience became the catalyst for a profound spiritual awakening. I went deep within, battling the shadows that had taken hold of my soul, and through this intense struggle, I began to find the light within myself. This journey through the depths of my despair was what ultimately set me on the path to healing and transformation, changing the course of my life forever.
I turned inward and discovered that all the answers I had been searching for were within me, waiting to be uncovered through a deep connection with my authentic intelligence. This journey was not just about physical transformation; it was about healing the deepest wounds of my soul —my wounded feminine and my toxic masculine. I began to grasp the imbalances in my energies, both feminine and masculine, caused by years of trauma and unresolved pain.
Recognizing the need for a complete transformation, I made bold, courageous moves to change my life. I quit my full-time job and released old toxic friendships that no longer served me. Knowing I needed the right tools to support this journey, I pursued certifications in Hypnotherapy, NLP, EFT Tapping, T.I.M.E. Techniques, Life & Success Coaching, and Mindset Coaching. Armed with these certifications, I then moved across the world to Bali—a leap of faith that brought me face-to-face with my deepest fears and ultimately led me to my true path.
As I went deeper into my healing journey, my inner work led to almost immediate positive shifts in my family, breaking the cycle of generation trauma. With each step, I uncovered a more powerful version of myself, whose transformation resonated beyond the present, reaching even those from my past. This experience revealed the deep interconnectedness of our spirits and the pivotal impact personal healing can have on others.
Today, my life is guided by a sense of flow and freedom. I move freely in my body, no longer confined by the tension and fear that once held me back. I feel safe and liberated to express all facets of my being, embracing the full spectrum of who I am. Each movement is an embodiment of the freedom I’ve gained, reflecting the deep healing that has transformed not only my mind but also my physicality. I effortlessly attract experiences and opportunities that align with my higher purpose, drawing in abundance and harmony with a magnetic spiritual resonance. This newfound ease and fluidity in both my body and spirit have allowed me to shine in ways I never imagined.
